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The troubles with Red Squirrels in Sioux Lookout


Squirrels in church

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about
their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they
concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they
shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.
The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and
let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and,
unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many
squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They
baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now
they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

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